When you build something you care about, you tend to build it slowly and carefully, thinking through your choices every step of the way (choices that sometimes become clear only in the middle of the night), quickly correcting the parts that aren’t working, trying out new ideas, and keeping your eyes on how it will all play out down the road. This slow, careful process is the way I have approached Piper since the day I opened my doors. I’ve built the business in an intentional way over the years, careful to stay true to the quality-over-quantity mantra, to hire people who are compatible with the Piper reputation (which I’ll get to in a minute), to keep team workloads happily in balance, and to nurture relationships with clients who Piper team members truly enjoy working with. The “down the road,” it seems, has played out well and Piper continues to thrive. If you’ve read through the Client Feedback section on our website, you might have gathered as much.

Appreciation from clients flows in regularly, and I’m always so impressed; clients take time out of their busy schedules to write to me on the fly, or after a project has wrapped, to express how happy they are with the Piper team members they worked with that day, that month, or that year. They gush, frankly, and I get the absolute pleasure of passing along their enthusiasm to the Piper team. Making my teammates’ days in this way is one of the biggest perks of my job, because I know they deserve every word, and it validates all the hard work and positive energy they so purposefully put into our clients’ experiences. But why do clients care enough to spend those precious minutes of their hectic workday to write to me instead of chipping away at their bursting inboxes? It seems that receiving incredible service is that important to them.

When I say incredible service, the compliment is typically twofold: The Piper teammate stood out as highly skilled, very experienced, and able to gracefully handle multiple complex tasks at once. The other side of incredible service has an aspect of je ne sais quoi to it, but for discussion purposes, it really boils down to one question: What kind of person do you choose to be when you’re working with other people? (Notice the word choose there.) The answer can make or break you.

To illustrate my point, consider a situation that might sound familiar to you: Imagine you’re working with someone who is overworked all the time, gives you only half the information you need in order to do your job, doesn’t respond to your emails for days (and days), is rude or snippy with you, and often dumps big tangled messes down in front of you and says, “Help me.” How do you respond? Like this: Remove your ego from the equation and give that person incredible service. Help them. This is the perfect example of you choosing who to be when working with others rather than taking anything about the situation personally. Think about that person’s perspective: Their work days are probably chaotic and stressful, likely filled with lots of uncertainties, and they may be the recipients of their own share of snippy comments and slights from other grumpy coworkers, which can crush their mood. What can you do to improve on their day? Make them laugh in a stressful moment, recognize when they are overloaded and need someone to calm them, and help them in earnest to accomplish their goals. One or more of these simple actions are powerful day-boosters for both of you. Each time you interact with coworkers, you have the opportunity to be a light in their day that is warm and steady and, ultimately, a comforting support system they can count on to accomplish their goals, whether they’re having a tough day or not. This is incredible service, and over many years Piper has earned this reputation.

Now the opposite can also be true. You may be the one having a tough day, feeling irritable, your projects are putting your stress level at 10, and you’re not feeling particularly motivated to be positive or helpful to anyone. But see, try it. Shift your thinking for a moment and do one thing, say one thing, that is going to be kind or helpful to someone else. Chances are you suddenly feel pretty good, and if you string enough of those actions together in a day, your day just got remarkably better. Particularly if one coworker responds to your actions positively, and then another, and by 4pm you don’t even remember being at stress level 10.

The great part about what I’m describing is that it can be taught, and it can be learned. I know this because I learned the power of positive attitudes from the people I have admired most during my past 25 years in publishing: editorial assistants, copy editors, project managers, content editors, acquisitions editors, and company presidents who were not only fantastic at their jobs but more importantly were also consistently respectful, considerate, compassionate, supportive, and team players no matter what their position. They gave me incredible service.

These are the kinds of people who succeed, both professionally and personally, and these are the kinds of people I hire on my team and the kinds of clients who have the most success with their projects. You want to work with them, and chances are whatever project they’re working on will turn out well because the foundation for success is there: When you’re considerate, you tend to communicate clearly (or die trying) because you care if someone has the information they need. When you’re respectful, people feel safe to brainstorm and be creative with you—and that can take projects to a higher level. When you’re a team player, tasks are less apt to fall through the cracks because you’re thinking about the team goals and you want to support the people around you. When you’re compassionate, you recognize when to switch out of work mode and be a friend, which is a bonus for you and everyone else.

You can be a warm, steady light for people—clients, friends, family members, even strangers. You can choose this. The waters out there can be rough, and on our worst days we all need someone to be nice to us, tell us all is well, and ask us how they can help.